


Meltdown

by 401



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Anxiety, Autism, Autistic Bucky Barnes, Autistic Meltdown, M/M, Protective Steve, Sensory Overload, Stimming, sensory processing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-14
Updated: 2016-01-14
Packaged: 2018-05-13 23:07:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 579
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5720419
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/401/pseuds/401
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Based on my own experiences with sensory overload.</p>
    </blockquote>





	Meltdown

**Author's Note:**

> Based on my own experiences with sensory overload.

Steve huffed a sigh and sunk into a squat next to Bucky. There was a stillness running through the apartment that always lingered after a meltdown, a weird tense silence that Steve could not enjoy. It never lasted for long. The pitch of Bucky’s breathing rose and the turbulent flapping of his hands got faster.

They would move in tight circles, similar to the ones that they made when he was happy but sharper and more agitated. Steve had learnt not to try and quell the stimming, and to let it run free, ebbing and flowing as it needed to calm Bucky.

“Can you tell me what’s happening?” Steve asked quietly, keeping his voice low and soft.

Bucky made a short sobbing noise in the back of his throat, muffled by his fingertips that were being bitten mercilessly. Steve repressed the urge to move those fingers. This balance of relative calm was a fragile one.

Steve sighed and sat down fully, crossing his legs on the floor and watching Bucky’s movements. His knees were drawn tight and his body would shift in short, bouncy rocks from side to side. The rocking would peak at the same time as the flapping in Bucky’s unoccupied left hand. Steve had always found it curious that Bucky stimmed with the metal hand, but then it _was_ heavier. It probably gave him more of the stimulation that he needed.

“You don’t need to speak,” Steve reassured, scooting backwards to give Bucky some space.

He realised his mistake before it had truly come in to effect.

The small of his back hit something cool; the shield, up against the wall where it always was. There was the dull scrape of metal against wood and then a deep, resonating ring of contact as it fell. Hell, it made Steve wince. Bucky flinched back, sliding his whole body closer to the corner he was up against and choked out a noise of discomfort, slamming his forehead forward against his knees and hugging them tightly.

“I’m sorry, Buck!” Steve explained, cursing himself mentally, “I didn’t mean it, I’m sorry.

Gasps turned to full sobs from behind Bucky’s knees. Steve cringed at his own clumsiness and pulled the shield onto his lap, shuffling next to Bucky to try and repair his mistakes.

“Here, you hold it,” Steve offered, “Probably safer with you, hey?”

Bucky looked up, red-faced and damp with tears. He took the shield cautiously and held it against his chest. He ran his fingers over the edge and pressed his cheek against the cool bulge of its surface to soothe the pricking heat in his cheeks. The motion of his fingers made a smooth ghosting sound like a whistle of breath. Steve watched as the uneasy rocking slowed and both of Bucky’s hands became instantly absorbed with the shield.

Bucky flicked knuckle against the rim of the shield. It made a deep sound, like a glass bell. A grin spread over the brunet’s face and other hand flexed open and closed repeatedly. Steve smiled at the obvious excitement at the newly discovered sensation.

A few more minutes of exploration passed before Bucky surrendered himself fully to the new calm, lying back with his shoulders on Steve’s lap and putting the 20lb shield on his chest, an experience that would have made Steve bristle with claustrophobia. Bucky seemed to love it.

“Calm?” Steve asked.

Bucky nodded, distracted beyond Steve’s control. The Captain smiled. That was all he needed.


End file.
